What if you stopped trying so hard?

The Law of Reversed Effect is very simple, it states the harder you try to force something the more difficult it becomes to do.  Simply put… you can’t force natural progression just because you want to. 

For example, how many times have you tried to force a relationship only to find the other party starts to drift away?  How many athletes have tried to force themselves back to greatness only to find they get worse?  How many times have you tried to find something only to have someone else walk in and find it right away?  My point is trying too hard often has the opposite effect.

I was reminded of this law recently when a good friend (and client) landed their dream job.   They were dedicated, diligent and trying very hard with no success.  Oddly enough this opportunity came out of the blue the moment they stopped trying to look for it.  It may not make any sense but trust me the law of reversed effect is at work everyday.

So are there areas in your life where you are trying too hard?  Are there areas in your business where you are trying to force the natural progression of a situation?  Are you trying to force something and notice that it’s drifting further away? Here’s my advice, first… get very clear of what you want and why you want it and lock that vision deep in your subconscious, second… take a deep breath, third… step back and focus your attention on something else, forth… BOOM my bet.. there it is!

“Curt Skene was the opening keynote speaker at the Canadian Institute of Management, Toronto Branch’s “Developing Professional Excellence” conference. As the event manager I was thrilled with Curt’s performance. He was the perfect kickoff speaker. His energy, knowledge, enthusiasm and sense of humour was infectious and set a positive tone for the entire day.”

Mike Aoki, Event Manager, Canadian Institute of Management (Toronto Branch)

I know I can’t force myself to write, I have to be inspired by something.  When I do try to force it, look out writers block here I come!  So I step back, take a walk, play with the kids or go to sleep then I come back (sometimes at very weird hours) and voila it’s all good now.

I will admit it can be scary to step away because thoughts of “what if I miss it” can fill your mind.  But remember the old adage “If you love something set it free, if it comes back it’s yours and if it doesn’t, it never was!”

So this month I want you to take a giant leap and just stop trying to make something happen.  That doesn’t mean stop doing the “right” things, it means stop doing things just to try to force the natural flow of how the world is about to unfold.  If you are trying to land a new job or big contract continue to plant seeds but at the same time have the confidence to step back and open yourself up to other opportunities that you may not have considered yet.

ABOUT CURT SKENE
Curt Skene is a professional business speaker, sales trainer, and certified hypnotist who specializes in helping companies look at their business, their relationship with their customers and their future opportunities in a powerful and positive light. Curt offers over 75 rapid-fire insights based on over 20 years of award-winning business experience (Microsoft, ExecuTrain and BrainBuzz) and combines his experience with the kowledge he has gained as a certified hypnosis/NLP practitioner.  Find out more at
www.curtskene.com

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One Response to “What if you stopped trying so hard?”

  1. Hypnotherapist Says:

    Very nicely put. There as so many times where we push and push only to struggle more. Relax and look forward to it and it will come. Very inspiring.

    Like

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